A fellow blogger of mine posted a blog recently about what he would be to his kid, yes you heard me right a he. In this age and time to me every word i read seemed unbelievable considering what i have seen in the years i have been on earth. Absent fathers, passive fathers, fathers that just bail after the test comes out positive and sadly the abusive fathers.
This blog amazingly enough gave me hope against the whole super woman-feminist i may be trying to be. You see being brought up by a single mother, a part of you wishes to be as she is at list as strong. But another part wishes to have the opposite of what she has.
Unfortunately the wanting to be like her has been winning bearing in mind the experiences i have had and stories i have listened to. Still there is a part that lives on, that holds on to the happy family dream.
As for me am not all about happily ever after but instead a better father to my kid. And this are just some of the things i would want to tell her or him :
I may not have an idea of when you will be born or even where, but i promise to give you an improved version of my upbringing. One thing is for sure i can not throw off some of your grandma's teaching n discipline ways, and i insist on the some for a reason. They made me who i am n improving them will make you better than me.
I promise you a cool and unique name that is for certain, no one can fight that. Most importantly i promise you a good father, see am not a TDH(tall dark and handsome) or BCR(brown cute and rich) kind of girl. I choose to see past all that and into the future.
A father who will be there when you pop out and getting scared of breaking you, one who will be there when you get to roll for the first time. One you will bite when you grow some teeth, one who will be there when you crawl. One who will hold you tiny Winny arms when you learn to walk. One who will teach you how to ride a bike, nurse your wounds and wipe your tears. One who will learn how to change a diaper and train his weak stomach just to spend time with you. One who will drop you off to your first day to school and tell you all the wise words when you fight so hard not leave home.
One who will scold you when you do wrong but be there to give you a shoulder to cry on as he explains why. One who will tell you to be courageous when the bullies make fun of you. One who will be there to tell all about your first crush for you guys will be that close. One who will take a walk with you to help you through your break up.
One who will stand with you no matter what, one who you will respect rather than fear. One you will run to when he comes from work instead of looking for an excuse to go to your bedroom. One who will embrace you in front of your friends when he tries to fit in. One who will be there even at the lowest of your moments.
I will always be there that is a promise though we might not get "the one" we will still have each other to make us whole. And even though he will not be all that i will do my very best to be "the one" for you.
I might not find him but know you have me, remember that.
