Saturday 29 November 2014

Tea time

I was watching a reality show in the morning and there was this guy that was starting a website called "tea time with quincy".
I know you are wondering what that means,relax i will expain to you.

It is meant for giving people a place to air out their issues,discuss them and help each other out.We can call it an online-shrink service or online-group counselling.

It got me thinking,in our times so many people lack platforms to discuss their issues.Most of us are actually surrounded by people who either feign affection(i call them plastics) or they are there for you only when you are rich or something.
Another lot are those that listen to you to have something to rumourmonger about.Believe me it is extremely annoying,others you trust with your dreams and they take them up as your own.And that is what our friendships have evolved to unfortunately.

Have you ever hit rock bottom and hit the peak of an emotional breakdown?And in that very moment you look at your contact list,searching for someone to talk to?
Most of the times you find someone that will hear you out.But what happens when you do not get someone who will really understand your state.
In some situations you relate better with someone who has been there-done that or gone through that.What about when you cannot find that person?
There is power in prayer i know but i tend to think some christians run to prayer as a cacoon from pain.Other just bottle up emotions convincing themselves all is well.
Espesially when you are a christian and you are struggling with something,and you are surrounded by judgemental guys.This behavior really pisses me off,for God is love and how can you be a believer and be so damn cold.
Forgive me if that offends you but truth be told i get tired of such people.Anywho may the Lord be with them and convict them,and help them learn what love is about(1corinthians13.)
That was not the aim of this post though,the point is if though you don't really get what someone is going through be there for them.Research about it if you could,ask around or something but make sure you are there for them.

Those replies that go like"you will be okay just believe" or "trust in God and you will be fine."Trust me i love God and trust him fully,but He gave you brains and a role as the victim's friend to help them understand the problem and get a solution.
We wonder why people look fine one minute and the other they commit suicide.If you have someone close to you that committed suicide,look into his/her relations.Were his/her friends there for him/her?
Statistics show that most people especially teenagers that kill themselves are those with a low self esteem.In reference to the reality show i was watching there was a girl whose mother was a celebrity and she was beautiful,curvaceous and all that.The daughter on the other hand was a plus size,living in the shadow of her mother depressed her.
I love this reference because it affects me somehow. Most times you find the friends that are suppose to be there for you,are those that tend to be the ones tossing those annoying comments that they think are funny.For instance:that 'cheche show' on Citizen T.V. is hosted by this lady(i cannot recall her name),and a friend of mine saw her and was like"Jarkie ona pia madame ka wewe wanaeza kua news presenters"
And i faked those smiles that fade within a second.You may think am paranoid but those comments do hurt their are not funny.Believe me am not victimizing myself either, am strong but other are not.In the present day we have been feed by images of the ideal size and when you as a friend keep on pointing at that out,you are not helping.
The bible points out that,the compassion you are shown by the Lord also show to others with equal measure.That is my point exactly,practise empathy and be there for your friends,even though you don't understand what they are going through.Just  by merely spending time with them helps though you won't say much.Do all you can for them,show your care in whatever way,have that tea talk with them.Don't push them away to look for the compassion elsewhere,they might not get it.

(I appreciate comments,corrections,appreciation and sharing my posts out.It helps me grow in my writing and broadens my thinking.Thank you and may the good God bless y'all)

Tuesday 25 November 2014

The smite feeling.

Today am going to be vulnerable,i even doubt whether i will or i should share this.But someone once told me a problem shared is half solved,yeah i know its a clinche.
Here goes,have you ever reached a point in your life you think the search is over.Yeah am actually talking about what you are thinking,love.
I love fairytales,the likes of sleeping beauty,snow white,the princes on the highest tower(i do not know it's name) and the famous cinderella.But i have never been the people that wait for prince charming,the white or dark knight.
I am a simple girl so my dream man was simple too.(I will keep that dream man to myself).To me it was not about looks or money,it was much about personality,character,vision in life and principles.Most important respects his Maker,OUR LORD.
So i meet him at first i had my doubts but with time the doubts seemed to pass away.I cannot really explain the feeling but it was just there.(The feeling of the search is over).Believe me i was happy really hope going with the flow as the days went by,the love blossomed.
Then one fateful day,that message everyone dreads.A slap on the face is nothing compared to it,nor is a hard kick on the back.That heart shattering feeling that seems to be detected by every nerve in your body.
When you smile the memory of yesterday fades it away completely.Tears seem to be your daily dominant emotion,but you keep strong and tell yourself it is well.
Don't really know whether that is bottling up feelings but all i know is i don't like this feeling.Funny still there is a voice at the back of you mind that whispers,"you have to go through hardship to strengthen your courage,even a pregnant woman has to go through labour pains before giving life to that bouncing baby"
Thus i would say am better than okay,....okay!yeah that is just lying to myself.But am striving for the light i see at the end of this darkness,the relief i will get after this pain.And the joy of taking part in the 'after-feast'of this turmoil,donot know what the feast will contain though.All i can do is hope on,believe and pray for a better tomorrow.
Am encouraged by revelation 4:1b"come up here and i will show you what must happen after this"
#Trusting and obeying

Tuesday 11 November 2014

Parental demeanors

I have to ask this and please help me out guys,what does respecting your parents mean?I know what you are thinking,daah simple obey and do what they tell you.Respect accrding to my dictionary is to show admiration for somebody or something because of their good qualities or achievements.Moreover,polite behaviour towards or care for somebody or something that you think is important.In this context am tempted to ask what does showing admiration or polite behaviour like?

According to what has prompted me to write this,i have been obliged to believe is going along with everything the parents tell you without questioning.And questioning is counted as disrespect to those who were raised by parents who thought the same.My main question is what do i profit by just accepting everything without airing my views?And if i dnt i will end up complain in myself and bottling up emotion.

I know,understand and obey ephesians 6:1-3 but i must insist on verse 4 that states"Fathers,do not exasperate your children;instead,bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
Exasperate means to annoy or irritate somebody very much.
This are the times i get on my knees and pray for grace to handle thia amount of emotion and hope that in my next generation i will treat my kids in a different  way.
Giving them a platform to express their feeling and their view of everything,though in all this show respect.With the psychology i have read bottling up emotion leads to even great mental complications and disorders.
Nevertheless,i know am not the only one struggling with this kind of emotions but lets all remember how far our parents have brought us up.They may fall short of some things that may be of greater value to ourselves but they are still our parents.Lets pray that the lord shall help us to accept and learn how to deal with such emotions. And to not end up in an emotional outburst that will lead to saying things we will regret.
I have to admit i hope i get this into my system and heal my tantrums.