We exist in a time that love is the word that is just thrown around, relationships are founded on aspects other than love. People replace girlfriends and boyfriends like a meaningless ugly dress you don’t fancy to wear anymore. Fortunately am one of those old souls that still value love and treat it with the respect that it should be accorded. Here is a piece of my heart on it, in the form of a letter:
Dear soulmate,
I know you are out there may be thinking about me and imagining me next to you as much as I am
I know in your mind you are imaginatively jotting down a list of things you hope you will find in me, as I am.
I know it sounds off and rather psychotic, but well in that case cupid got you a psycho for a soulmate
I hope you are saving yourself as I am,
Many have come my way, I have been tempted to settle but I remember that you are out there,
The worst that can happen is for you to find me trapped in a relationship that makes me miserable.
I hope you love watching “The Voice” like I do, cry during playoffs as you connect to the music lyrics
I hope you imagine me when you listen to a perfectly written love song,
I hope you value love as I do not just as a choice of love but as a treasure,
I hope you love watching big bang theory as I do and laugh at the nerdy jokes coz you get them,
I hope life has taught you as many lessons as it has done me,
Am not hoping you are my doppelgänger, but that would be super cool but I don’t think the world is ready for two of me.
I dream about you a lot,
The dates we will go to getting to know each other,
How we will meet and click and connect,
How we will hold out until the 5th date,
How we will lie on grass staring at the moon and stars listening to music,
How we take walks and have deep talks about artificial intelligence and how robots will take over.
Sometimes I think am just a hopeless romantic who is asking the universe for too much.
That maybe the countless heartbreaks and struggle with my sexuality should have taught me something.
A friend of mine reminds me that it's only when I find peace with being single and alone that I actually meet you.
It pretty hard, though, especially when everyone around you has someone to love them.
I try not to compare myself to them and keep focused on the future and building myself; working on my issues and struggles in life.
Surprisingly I strongly feel that my issues would be a big deal to you coz you will have already connected with m telepathically.
I never believed in love really, the whole Eros affair was just a sham to me.
However, instead of becoming more of a non-believer as a result of all the heartbreaks I have gone through, ii have become a believer in a love so strong no one can redirect it or control it.
I have learned to respect love, not to rush it, not to force just let it take its course…it may hurt sometimes but it is all worth it.
So, my love wherever you are, I have loads of nicknames for you, hilarious ones at that
I hope I one day I get to share this with you, my heart poured out in vulnerability.
Is it weird or creepy that I miss you? Guess no maybe you are too.
I will try not to make the mistakes I have made before trying to force someone else to be you because am getting impatient, I will keep on strong though in this world people don’t seem to rally value the word love and its intensity.
I will wait
As I am waiting I will hold on to love though every single love experience I have had is a warning against it.
I will wait even though am forcibly hooked up to people who cannot match up to you.
I will wait for I believe you are out there somewhere, I can feel it deeply and strongly in my spirit.
My biggest prayer of all is that; you will wait for me as well
Yours loving,
Jay.
