I stand amazed

Sitting here letting the sound energy get into the air,sooth my nerves and calm my moods.I can not help but think,does everyone feel this way about this particular art?I smile and close my eyes to soak my thoughts into the sound of a good beat.My heart skips a beat as my eyes grow wider at the hearing of a excellently sang song.A perfect variation of pitch and knots blows my mind away.I would say i get high by the mere sound of music,it sends me to a trance.Though am not the perfect singer but am working on it.All i know is excellence in music can draw tears to my eyes by merely just listening to the sound minus the words.It ia an innate passion that i have always had.I would call myself an art fanatic,i can not explain what art does to its this unexplainable feeling that you can only understand by feeling it.Funny even as i write this my chest is moving in a vigorous motion of in and out.I cant help being excited by the mere feeling of what am writing about it.But there would be someone who reads this and completely relates and another would not even understand.But they say that we are diverse and i believe that makes this world a better place.If we were all the same i believe this world would really suck(just saying),there some other things like gadgets and programs that people are a fanatic of.Am proud to state am a gadget freak too,guess am all in one#just kidding.Thinking of this i marvel at God's perfect work,how did he come up with all this diffrent shades of people,personalities and character.Yeah i know He is God but still do you stop to be flabbergusted(i have always wanted to use that word correctly,hooe i did) at such perfection.All i can say is i stand amazed at thy word My King.I dont know how this has taken a turn to that but lets just say when write you just rock with it go with the flow.I hope you are flowing with me.
This seems like one of those post you type the title like ten times before deciding on the right one because it seems not to incorporate all you are saying.But i think i got it....

The disbelief phase

Have you ever reached the darkest end of life? Have you ever reached that point you wonder if God still exists inside there somewhere?or reached that point you doubt whether you have a conscious anymore?
Well i have reached that point that every christian seems to get on your nerves.You want to believe but something at the back of you mind reminds you why you stopped believing.
I would say every christian goes through this phase.This phase actually makes me not even question why Job reached a poibt he question the sigbificance of his existence.I dont know about you but i have reached that point i even think of suicide.
ONe thing that stops me from committing suicide is the quote that "the grave is the richest having people who have died with alot of potential".And for sure i ain going to enrich the grave with God has entrusted me with.
At such a time of doubt surprisngly enough there is always a still voice at the back of your head.That reminds you of the verse "will you accept the good and not the bad?"
And surely that kicks my belief back up again.He is a good God,faithful,loving and merciful so all He does is under this context.
Hard to accept but it is the truth.I myself always have to convince myself of this.

the start of something new

so here i am i started a blog and i have no idea what to write, but i have something in mind. Writing is one place i feel like am in a cabin in the forest all alone in utopia world. Free to express what i desire without the fear judged or called names. A place where i have my own definition of beauty from my own perspective and magazines with my own breed of model. So how about that for a world? pretty awesome huh? so am excited to see where i go with this, wish me luck people. And most important let God also speak through me as he whilst.