Tea time

I was watching a reality show in the morning and there was this guy that was starting a website called "tea time with quincy".
I know you are wondering what that means,relax i will expain to you.

It is meant for giving people a place to air out their issues,discuss them and help each other out.We can call it an online-shrink service or online-group counselling.

It got me thinking,in our times so many people lack platforms to discuss their issues.Most of us are actually surrounded by people who either feign affection(i call them plastics) or they are there for you only when you are rich or something.
Another lot are those that listen to you to have something to rumourmonger about.Believe me it is extremely annoying,others you trust with your dreams and they take them up as your own.And that is what our friendships have evolved to unfortunately.

Have you ever hit rock bottom and hit the peak of an emotional breakdown?And in that very moment you look at your contact list,searching for someone to talk to?
Most of the times you find someone that will hear you out.But what happens when you do not get someone who will really understand your state.
In some situations you relate better with someone who has been there-done that or gone through that.What about when you cannot find that person?
There is power in prayer i know but i tend to think some christians run to prayer as a cacoon from pain.Other just bottle up emotions convincing themselves all is well.
Espesially when you are a christian and you are struggling with something,and you are surrounded by judgemental guys.This behavior really pisses me off,for God is love and how can you be a believer and be so damn cold.
Forgive me if that offends you but truth be told i get tired of such people.Anywho may the Lord be with them and convict them,and help them learn what love is about(1corinthians13.)
That was not the aim of this post though,the point is if though you don't really get what someone is going through be there for them.Research about it if you could,ask around or something but make sure you are there for them.

Those replies that go like"you will be okay just believe" or "trust in God and you will be fine."Trust me i love God and trust him fully,but He gave you brains and a role as the victim's friend to help them understand the problem and get a solution.
We wonder why people look fine one minute and the other they commit suicide.If you have someone close to you that committed suicide,look into his/her relations.Were his/her friends there for him/her?
Statistics show that most people especially teenagers that kill themselves are those with a low self esteem.In reference to the reality show i was watching there was a girl whose mother was a celebrity and she was beautiful,curvaceous and all that.The daughter on the other hand was a plus size,living in the shadow of her mother depressed her.
I love this reference because it affects me somehow. Most times you find the friends that are suppose to be there for you,are those that tend to be the ones tossing those annoying comments that they think are funny.For instance:that 'cheche show' on Citizen T.V. is hosted by this lady(i cannot recall her name),and a friend of mine saw her and was like"Jarkie ona pia madame ka wewe wanaeza kua news presenters"
And i faked those smiles that fade within a second.You may think am paranoid but those comments do hurt their are not funny.Believe me am not victimizing myself either, am strong but other are not.In the present day we have been feed by images of the ideal size and when you as a friend keep on pointing at that out,you are not helping.
The bible points out that,the compassion you are shown by the Lord also show to others with equal measure.That is my point exactly,practise empathy and be there for your friends,even though you don't understand what they are going through.Just  by merely spending time with them helps though you won't say much.Do all you can for them,show your care in whatever way,have that tea talk with them.Don't push them away to look for the compassion elsewhere,they might not get it.

(I appreciate comments,corrections,appreciation and sharing my posts out.It helps me grow in my writing and broadens my thinking.Thank you and may the good God bless y'all)

The smite feeling.

Today am going to be vulnerable,i even doubt whether i will or i should share this.But someone once told me a problem shared is half solved,yeah i know its a clinche.
Here goes,have you ever reached a point in your life you think the search is over.Yeah am actually talking about what you are thinking,love.
I love fairytales,the likes of sleeping beauty,snow white,the princes on the highest tower(i do not know it's name) and the famous cinderella.But i have never been the people that wait for prince charming,the white or dark knight.
I am a simple girl so my dream man was simple too.(I will keep that dream man to myself).To me it was not about looks or money,it was much about personality,character,vision in life and principles.Most important respects his Maker,OUR LORD.
So i meet him at first i had my doubts but with time the doubts seemed to pass away.I cannot really explain the feeling but it was just there.(The feeling of the search is over).Believe me i was happy really hope going with the flow as the days went by,the love blossomed.
Then one fateful day,that message everyone dreads.A slap on the face is nothing compared to it,nor is a hard kick on the back.That heart shattering feeling that seems to be detected by every nerve in your body.
When you smile the memory of yesterday fades it away completely.Tears seem to be your daily dominant emotion,but you keep strong and tell yourself it is well.
Don't really know whether that is bottling up feelings but all i know is i don't like this feeling.Funny still there is a voice at the back of you mind that whispers,"you have to go through hardship to strengthen your courage,even a pregnant woman has to go through labour pains before giving life to that bouncing baby"
Thus i would say am better than okay,....okay!yeah that is just lying to myself.But am striving for the light i see at the end of this darkness,the relief i will get after this pain.And the joy of taking part in the 'after-feast'of this turmoil,donot know what the feast will contain though.All i can do is hope on,believe and pray for a better tomorrow.
Am encouraged by revelation 4:1b"come up here and i will show you what must happen after this"
#Trusting and obeying

Parental demeanors

I have to ask this and please help me out guys,what does respecting your parents mean?I know what you are thinking,daah simple obey and do what they tell you.Respect accrding to my dictionary is to show admiration for somebody or something because of their good qualities or achievements.Moreover,polite behaviour towards or care for somebody or something that you think is important.In this context am tempted to ask what does showing admiration or polite behaviour like?

According to what has prompted me to write this,i have been obliged to believe is going along with everything the parents tell you without questioning.And questioning is counted as disrespect to those who were raised by parents who thought the same.My main question is what do i profit by just accepting everything without airing my views?And if i dnt i will end up complain in myself and bottling up emotion.

I know,understand and obey ephesians 6:1-3 but i must insist on verse 4 that states"Fathers,do not exasperate your children;instead,bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
Exasperate means to annoy or irritate somebody very much.
This are the times i get on my knees and pray for grace to handle thia amount of emotion and hope that in my next generation i will treat my kids in a different  way.
Giving them a platform to express their feeling and their view of everything,though in all this show respect.With the psychology i have read bottling up emotion leads to even great mental complications and disorders.
Nevertheless,i know am not the only one struggling with this kind of emotions but lets all remember how far our parents have brought us up.They may fall short of some things that may be of greater value to ourselves but they are still our parents.Lets pray that the lord shall help us to accept and learn how to deal with such emotions. And to not end up in an emotional outburst that will lead to saying things we will regret.
I have to admit i hope i get this into my system and heal my tantrums.

Weighing myself in God's scale

I have to admit i sometimes don't understand people's reactions.I write this from my heart not targetting anyone but just pouring my heart out.So am tired of being referred to as incapable of alot of things just because i weigh a few more pounds than the average girl.Not to mention being ignored to your very face because of the same,but that does not stutter me as the reactions.Last i checked am perfectly healthy,no blood pressure,no heart disease n i have been to Turkana and walked 13 kilometers without fainting.Maybe am being paranoid or over reacting to some level but lets admit it this sometimes gets out of hand.Everyday being hit with suggestion of you should join slim possible or some smirks of people's faces.

Oh!not to forget how some hawkers refer to you as,so annoying you know.Fortunately i believe i have a somewhat big ego to be crushed by such sentiments.In the beginning God created a good creation of Adam and Eve looked down upon them and saw they were good.I believe i was created and God saw i was a good creation,so to speak.
Trust me i have been to the gym and back,being on diet and all that.At the end of it all who am i looking to please by all this? I wonder to myself.God already loves me and all he desires from me is me serving Him wholly, which i do to my level best.
Anyway this blog was not to blot out my frustration but to put a point across.Weighing yourself on the scale of the world's standards will only frustrate you.Try weighing yourself on God's scale,the manufacterer Himself.Our fingers have diffrent hieght and serve diffrent purpose.Same to us,we are all diffrent and we undertake diffrent roles in our lives.Its for you and me to live up what God wants us to be and to stick to that.The people around us will always have negative and postive things to say,take the good,acknowledge the bad and discard it.Thats how the world becomes a better place for all of us.
Am happy with my weight though i always get frustrated once and while when some very cute clothes can fit and i have to compromise.And when those annoying names pop up but i remember psalms 139 and my happiness is restored.I hope my counterparts out there will embrace that instead of cacooning in anorexia and bulimia nervosa.

I stand amazed

Sitting here letting the sound energy get into the air,sooth my nerves and calm my moods.I can not help but think,does everyone feel this way about this particular art?I smile and close my eyes to soak my thoughts into the sound of a good beat.My heart skips a beat as my eyes grow wider at the hearing of a excellently sang song.A perfect variation of pitch and knots blows my mind away.I would say i get high by the mere sound of music,it sends me to a trance.Though am not the perfect singer but am working on it.All i know is excellence in music can draw tears to my eyes by merely just listening to the sound minus the words.It ia an innate passion that i have always had.I would call myself an art fanatic,i can not explain what art does to its this unexplainable feeling that you can only understand by feeling it.Funny even as i write this my chest is moving in a vigorous motion of in and out.I cant help being excited by the mere feeling of what am writing about it.But there would be someone who reads this and completely relates and another would not even understand.But they say that we are diverse and i believe that makes this world a better place.If we were all the same i believe this world would really suck(just saying),there some other things like gadgets and programs that people are a fanatic of.Am proud to state am a gadget freak too,guess am all in one#just kidding.Thinking of this i marvel at God's perfect work,how did he come up with all this diffrent shades of people,personalities and character.Yeah i know He is God but still do you stop to be flabbergusted(i have always wanted to use that word correctly,hooe i did) at such perfection.All i can say is i stand amazed at thy word My King.I dont know how this has taken a turn to that but lets just say when write you just rock with it go with the flow.I hope you are flowing with me.
This seems like one of those post you type the title like ten times before deciding on the right one because it seems not to incorporate all you are saying.But i think i got it....

The disbelief phase

Have you ever reached the darkest end of life? Have you ever reached that point you wonder if God still exists inside there somewhere?or reached that point you doubt whether you have a conscious anymore?
Well i have reached that point that every christian seems to get on your nerves.You want to believe but something at the back of you mind reminds you why you stopped believing.
I would say every christian goes through this phase.This phase actually makes me not even question why Job reached a poibt he question the sigbificance of his existence.I dont know about you but i have reached that point i even think of suicide.
ONe thing that stops me from committing suicide is the quote that "the grave is the richest having people who have died with alot of potential".And for sure i ain going to enrich the grave with God has entrusted me with.
At such a time of doubt surprisngly enough there is always a still voice at the back of your head.That reminds you of the verse "will you accept the good and not the bad?"
And surely that kicks my belief back up again.He is a good God,faithful,loving and merciful so all He does is under this context.
Hard to accept but it is the truth.I myself always have to convince myself of this.

the start of something new

so here i am i started a blog and i have no idea what to write, but i have something in mind. Writing is one place i feel like am in a cabin in the forest all alone in utopia world. Free to express what i desire without the fear judged or called names. A place where i have my own definition of beauty from my own perspective and magazines with my own breed of model. So how about that for a world? pretty awesome huh? so am excited to see where i go with this, wish me luck people. And most important let God also speak through me as he whilst.